my.AUX.space

NEW WEBSITE + BLOG

2011-03-19T17:13:00.000-07:00

www.tiffanymillner.com

under construction...

2011-03-11T17:01:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to let you know that the blog may be down for a little bit while I attempt to design my own website... Wish me luck :)

Barbie: Astronaut, beach bunny, executive and now, architect?

2011-02-28T05:56:00.000-08:00

Barbie: Astronaut, beach bunny, executive and now, architect?

(...and um - it's .2% NOT 2%)

proof.

2011-02-24T18:23:00.000-08:00

I tracked this package from Ohio - until it reached my porch around 10:45 yesterday morning..

Thank you UPS.

I miss her.

2011-02-24T10:21:00.000-08:00

We were supposed to be friends forever.

We were supposed to take over the world together.

Lately I have been finding myself thinking about her more and more and all I want to do is pick up the phone and call her - BUT I erased her number.

I had to. (I was always the weak one in the relationship)

It is almost as if she was bitten by a snake and I just could NOT let that poison seep anywhere near me. I couldn't leave things to chance - so close to my wedding so I had to tell her good-bye.

I just pray that one day she is able to understand why I said what I said and why I had to do what I did.

It was all out of love.

I think about her all too often and I even keep my thoughts in a small clay pot that she bought me.

I think I love her more now than I ever did - I guess I am secretly hoping that this 'extra' love will create vibrations that will reach her from a distance.

When the time is right, God will allow us to cross paths again..

AND if not - I will continue to wish her nothing but strength, happiness and clarity moving forward.

Event Coverage #1

2011-02-21T18:44:00.000-08:00

Santa Claus was very good to me last year.... he got me a new camera :)

Here are a few of my favorite shots from Myra's birthday party this past weekend.

Enjoy!

'Something' is off to print...

2011-02-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I finally let it go.

I sent my book to print...I can not wait until I get my printed proof!!!!

(no... the website isn't up yet - that's next :)

MLK Day @ the O.

2011-02-21T16:09:00.000-08:00

yes yes - I am a little late...

BUT - better late than never, right?

The Soupers volunteered their services at The Overbrook Arts Center (or the 'O') for a Day of Learning and of Service...

We were asked to pinpoint a few interior projects that volunteers could help complete in order to continue the branding scheme within the space.

The first order of business is to create a gallery wall on the main side wall within the center... This wall is currently covered with clouds - hand painted by a volunteer artists....

SO SAD - but the majority of those clouds needed to go. Our proposal was to paint the wall white and install sheets of painted homosote to act as a self healing (forgiving) surface for pin-ups, bulletin boards, and art installations in general.

(Yes - I am going to keep a small area of the clouds - to pay homage to the artist :)

I will keep you posted on the progress...

Roadkill Photography

Hippopotamus...

2011-01-27T07:33:00.000-08:00

Gina thinks that I like them because they are purple...

I don't know - Maybe?

Guys - it was the weirdest thing.

On a Sunday, we were just sitting on the couch - flipping through the stations and we came upon the Newlywed Game.

It was corny. But cute and quirky - So we said to ourselves.... Hum - we can do that.

So the next day (at lunch) I filled out an on-line application on the production company's web-site and sent it on.... That was THE LONGEST APPLICATION EVER.

But - the application also said to send along a DVD of us...

So I searched on-line and found a g-mail address that appeared to be associated with the game show.. I sent an e-mail inquiring about the process of submitting a DVD and not and hour or so later I got an e-mail back saying - Can you come up to NYC for an on camera interview - to day or tomorrow?

Um - what?

I thought that it was fake.

So I asked Deme about it and he said that we should go for it.

So we did - we drove up there that next night and did an on camera interview. (Ask me about the Bunny Rabbit and the Tiger)

We didn't get to exit 8 on the turnpike before we got a call back saying that we needed to be up there that Thursday for an all day taping.

So we did.

The whole thing happened so fast - It was such a rush...... Now on to St. Croix! :)

KINNKS BLOG + GSN VIDEO
CLICK HERE FOR PHOTOS

the 'O'

2011-01-14T17:47:00.000-08:00

...just like Alice fell through a hole and ended up in Wonderland...

One day WE walked into a community art center and were granted creative freedom.

Ok - so it wasn't THAT easy... (not to mention if I see the Cheshire cat in one of the trees on the site I may pass out)...but the entire process has been so fluid so far I have no choice BUT to go with the flow.

The Overbrook Arts Center ( or the 'O' as we like to call it...)

http://www.overbrookartcenter.org/

"On our way to Wonderful... Is a place called Alright"

... That's the tag line for the center and its actually painted on the facade of the building.

Just think about it.

(On your way to wonderful...)

We are constantly yearning. hoping. praying. for something wonderful.

But wonderful may not be tangible - right now.

The wonderful that you envision may not even be the best thing for you - but you think about it all the time. You may even dream about it tonight.

The wonderful that you have concocted in your head may never manifest and ultimately you should understand that God has another plan for you and it is most likely MORE wonderful than you could have ever imagined.

But what about the Now? This 'place' that I am in NOW?

I mean - it's alright, right?

..of course it is... we just need to slow down and actually remember that :)

WE are only at the beginning stages of the re-branding process for the center, but I know and I BELIEVE that this is going to manifest into something great!

Here are a couple of the flyers WE did for the Open House Event - featuring the NEW logo and brand...

(I think they came out Alright.)

A New Year (means) New Beginnings...

2010-12-31T07:22:00.000-08:00

This was quite an interesting year.

...AND it really all started after that large tree in front of my house fell down from that ridiculous snow storm in February.

There is something to be said about how you really need to let things go - or you need to 'make space' to allow for new opportunities and blessings.

The funny part is that I was told to cut that tree down a few years ago - in order to get my roof fixed...

Of course I protested...

Needless to say - I think I prolonged the inevitable so long that God took the tree down for me. Since then I can not tell you how much natural light has been pouring into my house...It's incredible.

AND not to mention that that particular tree was located directly in my "mentors and helpful people" sector of my house (with regards to Feng Shui)

...let me tell you. I am now a true believer.

This year has brought so many ups and downs.

Losses and gains.

Struggles and uncertainties.

Sadness and anger.

BUT.

It has also brought to me an army of angels that have manifested clearly out of no where.

Some came in the form of business / client relationships morphing into incredible collaborations and friendships...

Some came in the form of old friends that I have finally been able to connect with on various levels.

Others came to me through connections through friends and associates that can only be described as nothing less than divine intervention.

I just wanted to say THANK YOU to everyone that has helped me to become stronger and even more driven to reach my goals. Our relationships are JUST beginning and I can not wait to see what 2011 will bring to us ALL...

I wish you all Peace and Prosperity in the NEW Year :)

ubuntu.

ubuntu.

2010-12-11T05:30:00.000-08:00

(Not referring to to the computer system - but the actual concept that it derives from. But - they have a cool logo.)

I AM BECAUSE WE ARE.

This past year has been an exercise in stepping out of my comfort zone and as a result I have had the most incredible experiences and opportunities. (Some of which I could have never even imagined.)

One thing that has really resonated with me - is the fact that you can not accomplish everything on your own AND in order to become what you want to be (if you even know what that is...) you need to circle back to the simple concept of human connections.

Ubuntu (oo-BOON-too) is an ethical concept of African origin that focuses primarily on our relationships with each other. It teaches us that teamwork and collaboration has the power to reshape our workplaces and our relationships with our co-workers.

I plan on making Ubuntu infectious in 2011.

"In Africa there is a concept known as Ubuntu - the profound sense that we are human only through the humanity of others; that if we are to accomplish anything in this world, it will in equal measure be due to the work and achievements of others."

- Nelson Mandela

13.3% (Re-visited)

2010-12-04T07:17:00.000-08:00

A few of you asked what I submitted to the exhibition....

Well - I wrote a little book called "200something".... (Stay Tuned!)

And YES - I made this submission before I had the epiphany to be a good wife and actually CHANGE my name :)

http://wuho.org/13point3

13.3%

2010-12-01T21:40:00.000-08:00

...and just like that - it was printed. bound. mailed. and tracked all the way to Los Angeles...

I recently made an “...an exasperated reply to those who say: ‘there are no women making architecture.’"

I submitted a little project that was realized in early February - but has been ever evolving since about 1992...

Just a little something that conveniently fit inside a standard sized 9x12 manila envelope and it has about 200something pages...

((Is anyone in LA?? I need a photo of my exhibit!!!))

http://wuho.org/13point3

Just over thirteen percent of architects are women, according to the American Institute of Architects.

The exhibition 13.3%… borrows from the conceptual structure of curator Lucy Lippard’s landmark 1973 exhibition of conceptual art, c. 7,500, in which each work on display fit into a standard manila envelope. Lippard’s exhibition contested the belief that there were no women making conceptual art at the time — and she did so by mailing evidence of this work directly to the gallery for display. Nearly forty years later, 13.3%… provides a space and form in which to consider the contributions and visibility of today’s practicing female architects.

kiddies...

2010-12-01T21:20:00.000-08:00

Dear Work Husband,

We haven't talked about it in a while, but I would like to tell you that I REALLY miss our kids..

I took this year off from mentoring students in the ACE mentoring program in order to clear my head and focus my energies on developing ME.

...well apparently developing ME is taking a little bit longer that I thought - and I guess I just didn't want to miss it so soon.

Mrs. Millner

2010-11-20T20:31:00.000-08:00

...the artist formerly known as Tiffany Strother-Millner.

Well - I tried the "hyphenated thing" for a year...

...and I thought that he was "okay" with it...

UNTIL.

..we went to the Capital Grille and the waitress came to the table and pleasantly said " Good Evening Mr. + Mrs. Strother..."

That was it - and I just couldn't take it anymore... I didn't want to hear his mouth. (I assure you - it made for interesting dinner conversation)

I knew that Deme was more on the "Traditional" side of things... but I guess I was just trying to hold on to my independence...

I mean COME ON!!!!!! You are one person for 32 years and then you just become someone else...

Ugh - it's going to be alright :)

You should have saw the smile on his face when he opened a little box and saw my NEW driver's license in it...

Priceless.

Love You Deme!

Tiffany C Millner

The Friday Five.

2010-11-10T19:55:00.000-08:00

Aww.. nothing like a little shameless self promotion :)

http://www.blackweblogawards.com/2010/10/22/friday-five-tiffany-strother-millner/

Sunrise + Sunset

2010-11-10T19:48:00.000-08:00

It's been a while...
I have been on vacation.
I wrote "something" a few months ago - and I have finally blown the dust off of it.
I met some new people.
I video taped a little tv show (more to come on that soon)...
I celebrated an anniversary and fell in love all over again.
I ate wedding cake that was frozen for an entire year - and STILL was exceptionally moist and scrumptious.
(Angie - You are the best!)
I shot some really cool photos and watched the sunset every night (for a week) that God sent to me...
It's amazing how fast it sets...It really puts time into perspective when you think about how little time there really is between sunrises and sunsets.....

BUT.
I have been seriously M.I.A.

I have been purposely avoiding writing...documenting...expressing my feelings for the fear that something uncharacteristic will flow from my fingertips.
I am not afraid anymore...
Blogging should be about life and all of the experiences that the blogger wishes to share and I wish to share this with you.
The second that you start to lose faith - you will know.
Your heart will grow heavy.
Your energy will cease to exist.
Your mind will spin uncontrollably and you will feel as though you are trapped inside a glass box looking out - with no hopes of escaping.
I was in that same box not only an hour ago and I am finally ready to accept the fact that I am nothing without my faith, my love, my dreams, and my hopes...
They were still there - but the wool was so thick over my eyes that I didn't even see them. I felt as though they abandoned me...
I am writing with my heart on my sleeve to express to you that you will never be alone and without hope - even when you feel at your worst.
Always remember that and those dark clouds will surely fade sooner - rather than later :)

Ok - Enough of that!!

(back to smiling)

examiner...

2010-09-27T18:24:00.000-07:00

...did I tell you that I am writing articles for the examiner?

http://www.examiner.com/ethnic-community-in-philadelphia/tiffany-strother-millner

Faith + Freedom

2010-09-20T10:05:00.000-07:00

Humm... I think I may have "burned" myself again...

For the past month and a half, I have been working on a little something that I called "Faith + Freedom". I knew that the annual PhilaNOMA Art show was coming up and that was enough to put the fire under my butt to build something - and get my head away from thinking and stressing about thing I can not control.

Everything seemed to fall into place... I received power tools for my birthday. I carved out a little corner in the basement to become my "wood shop", I had full access to the Soup Factory AND Cacao was on vacation in New Jersey.

I found some wood slats in the garage from an old IKEA bed in my garage - and I already had the vision. So I was ready to go....

The idea was to make a "picture frame" for flowers to be mounted on a wall - but like everything else, It became much more. It became my creative outlet... (Hey - what better way to relive the stress from work - than to go home and use some power tools??)

It was awesome... and then this popped into my head as I was building it... So I had to incorporate it:

i wanted to let go,

but it wouldn't let me go.

i tried to break free,

but i was always...

...am always +

always will be free.

ENJOY!!

Faith + Freedom is an exercise in re-discovering the creative side within me. As working professionals we sometimes lose sight of the simple things that bring us enjoyment and in turn serve as natural stress relievers.

Over the years, I found myself running from the things that would set me free. The lack of time committed to creativity wold be the very thing that would save me from the mundane day to day - also known as life.

Bending those wooden dowels was a stupid idea manifested. It was tedious and i broke a lot of them - even though I had them soaking in a tub of water in my basement. BUT I assure you that during that entire process I was NOT thinking about getting shop drawings back in time, dis-respectful clients that have no idea what i do for a living, construction time schedules that were shot and people blame you because you are the architect, stressing about toilet room clearances and that extra grab bar, and my favorite - the pissing contests that develop at the end of a job when all of the change orders get tallied up and the boxing gloves go on...

AND - it's new home in my dining room...

Confession...

2010-08-31T17:12:00.000-07:00

I have a confession to make.

...And this is not going to be easy.

But it's something that I really need to get off of my chest... I can only ask that you will forgive me.

A month or so ago, a friend of mine asked me what I watched on TV... And I really didn't have an answer. Seriously, I have been anti-TV for a while. I mean, don't get me wrong - if its on, I will watch it - or I will find myself flipping through random paternity tests or finding out where Anthony Bourdain is this week... But I really can't say that I have A SHOW that I need to break my neck to get home to see - or would even seduce me into getting Tivo or DVR.

Also - please keep in mind that I am married to someone that LOVES tv and WILL break his neck to see any new show that is science, news, or ufo related.

(I swear - sometimes, I just do not feel like learning at 10:00 at night)

(love you Deme...)

OK - but yes - I have a confession to make...

Typically our "happy medium" shows are: The Golden Girls, Anything Food related, Family Guy, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The news (If I can stomach it) - and most recently - Wrestling.

Yeah...I said it.

I have fallen back in love with it and it has made my Monday nights wonderful and with something to look forward to. I can remember back to when i was younger and my Great Grandmother (Bamby) would sit and watch that stuff for hours!!!! No joke.... She LOVED it. I dunno - I guess its just something about seeing people fake beating each other up and having fake drama to make a story line.

Monday Night Raw celebrated its 900th episode last night... (I know that my Bamby was watching in heaven...)

Here are a few photos of the wrestlers that I have liked in the past...And you KNOW you know who they are..... (....nope... really didn't care for Hulk-a-Mania)

Currently - We know all about Randy Orton's RKO move and can probably sing all of the words to his theme song....(yeah - sorry about that babe...)

My Sunflower.

2010-08-30T16:49:00.000-07:00

Faith is interesting.
Faith is mysterious.
Faith is unknown - doubtful - and just when you are at the cusp of giving up on it - it comes through and shows you why you MUST always keep it with you...

For the past five years I have been growing sunflowers somewhere in my yard. I LOVE them. They are these huge gentle giants that need nothing more than some sun, soil and a little love.

I started them as seeds this year...

Planted them...
And one by one they got blown over by wind, taken over by weeds, eaten - or just for some reason didn't make it.

UNTIL.

I cleared these ridiculously large weeds in front of my yard and found this - My one and only sunflower for the season.... humm - remember that little post about spiritual gardening?

"He who plants a seed beneath the sod - and waits to see believes in God."

Cacao's Photo Shoot...

2010-08-16T11:48:00.000-07:00

It was a wonderful Sunday!

-The birds were chirping..

- The weather was behaving..

- Then Cacao came outside - so I decided that it was time for her to have a photo shoot.....

...........Until I looked up and noticed that there was a ginormous wasp nest, hive, house - whatever - in the ivy that is growing up the side of my garage.

OK- so yes! There is a story to tell...(there is always a story to tell :)

Demetrius has been threatening to kill that ivy for 5 years now... he hates it.

So what - the ivy has seriously eaten through the mortar between the CMU and is growing inside the garage now...

So what - I am scared to death to go into the garage because I always felt like something was going to jump out and land on my head.

So what - we sat on the patio one day and watched 4 birds fly out of it.

So what - I think it looks really nice on the side :)

SO - needless to say - we will be going to war with it at sun down.... I will keep you posted.

Oh - and here are some photos from Cacao's Photo Shoot...

32.

2010-08-06T07:02:00.000-07:00

On 8/1 I became another year older and I am still finding myself contemplating my existence.

I just LOVE the Daily OM... You will be hearing a lot more about this from me soon :)

Return and Reclaim
Returning to Creative Dreams Our creativity is an important part of being a well-rounded human being. For many of us, this has been shut down.

As children, many of us entertained fantasies or even goals of being an actor, singer, dancer, artist, or musician. In some cases, we received enough encouragement to develop our abilities in those creative arenas, but somewhere along the way we stopped. This stopping may have been due to circumstances beyond our control or to our own unconscious acts of self-sabotage. Being creative can be scary in a world that seems to value logic over imagination and practicality over dreaming. We can forgive ourselves for shutting down or turning our attention away from our inner artist, but perhaps we can also take steps to reclaim our dreams.

In certain times and places, developing a creative ability was considered an important part of being a well-rounded human being. It was not necessary to be a professional or a masterly genius, because the act of creativity was valued in and of itself. It gifts are manifold from the sheer pleasure of allowing our imaginations free reign to sharing and enjoying the fruits of our labor. Children share drawings and songs freely, without self-consciousness, and there is no reason why we cannot do the same thing. You may already be remembering some lost form of expression, such as making jewelry or writing songs. Your soul may be responding with an energetic lift as it feels its way back to a time when it was allowed to express itself freely. Your brain, on the other hand, may be throwing up obstacles, like the idea that you are too old or do not have the time.

The truth is, you are not too old, and if you have time to pick up a pen, you have time to make a doodle or write a haiku. Recognize that the obstacles you find before you have arisen from a place of fear and that they will wane in power every time you do something creative. Each creative act takes you deeper into a realm of beauty and magic, a realm that you have every right to return to and reclaim.

ode to architecture.

2010-08-05T17:52:00.000-07:00

I stumbled upon this web post today... Couldn't have said it any better myself.

CLICK HERE.
What an architect actually is:

An architect is a........
Manager, facilitator, creative problem solver, manager, decision planner, decision maker, salesman/presenter, writer, draftsman, artist, designer, manager, analyst, organizer, scheduler, advisor, researcher, student, transcendent paradigm shifter, manager, prioritizer, manager, prioritizer, estimator, magician, pencil-pushing hardnose academic who has never worked a day in construction, arbitrator, explorer, manager, salesman/presenter, LISTENER, and manager.

What an architect actually does:

Tries to identify, analyze and solve 4 dimensional (space AND time) problems on the following levels and from simultaneously varying scales from microbes to planet:
1. UTILITY : what functions are needed and how and when will they be served. Aesthetics are a function too.
2. IMPACT : what will the initial and life-cycle impact be on economy, society, culture, physical environmental, human health, human mind, human spirit, and general resources and how and when will that be allocated and documented.
3. FEASIBILITY : can, how, when, and why will this endeavor take place and how will it meet the UTILITY and IMPACT parameters.
.....and does all this while managing clients, consultants, staff, communication, and information.

Garden Update #2

2010-08-05T16:39:00.000-07:00

Ok - So after about 3 weeks of a steady heat wave...
- A wonderfully large water bill...
- Fighting off the pests...
- Expressing love and constant nurturing...

We were finally able to reap the fruits of our labor!! (Well, kind of...)

So - Here's the update:

Tomatoes do not seem to be doing that well - at all. So far we ate one off of the patio tomato plant in the container - but NOTHING from the (4) plants in the ground. Apparently "something" has been robbing us - as i have found evidence of this in my hosta pot.(Yes - that is a half eaten green tomato... what is even funnier is that i went out there the next day and it was gone.)

Green peppers - umm, yeah, they aren't doing anything either.

Eggplant.....is very sad.

Cantaloupe- Well.... Its spreading like crazy - and I see evidence that we may actually get a couple of cantaloupes - if we do not get robbed.

BUT the Cucumbers are doing excellent!!! So far we have eaten a couple of them AND I just picked this one off of the vine tonight.....

(Thanks for the cucumber salad recipe Marissa (& Martha)!!)

Quick Pickled Cucumber Salad
In a large bowl, combine 2 large cucumbers, peeled and thinly sliced crosswise
1/2 medium red onion, thinly sliced
1 teaspoon of sugar
1/4 cup rice vinegar
Season with coarse salt and ground pepper and toss to combine.
(Salad can be refrigerated in an airtight container up to 4 hours.)
Serves 4

Dolla Dolla Bill Yall

2010-07-29T19:54:00.000-07:00

I did it.
We did it.

We sacrificed the dollar and we did it.

I wasn't sure if I would enjoy it.
But again - was it really a big deal to sacrifice the dollar?

Ladies and Gentlemen,
I ate an ice cream cone with candied bacon on top.

Jake's can get another dollar from me :)

heal MYself

2010-07-26T19:12:00.000-07:00

I am really getting old... I woke up this morning sooooo sore.

Was it lifting the tree trucks we found on the side of the road in the park?

Was it laying on the floor drilling holes?

Was it "playing" in the pouring rain as if I had no sense - or a mother to tell me about myself?

Perhaps the Creativity was served so HOT that I burned myself.

Nahhh... I think that Natural Doctor put a hex on me.

The Soupers at Blackeye Soup vend at The Heal Thyself Garden Party...(for like 2 hours) :)

The Heal Thyself Garden Party is an annual event that is dedicated to educating and informing the community about the availability and benefits of non-traditional (alternative) health care choices.This year it was held at the newly re-opened Elkins Estate in Elkins Park, PA.

The entire process was such a learning experience that despite the fact that we only were able to show the products for about an hour - it was well worth it. AND even though we had to put all of the cards, shirts, and bags away to protect them from the torrential downpour - the Pimped Tent was still able to serve as our symbol of creativity, spirit and unconventional thinking.

Ahhh - don't you just LOVE how a plan comes together...

(Recently added to Tiff's repertoire: t-shirt design, screen printing, vinyl lettering, patience, deconstruction in the pouring rain, enhanced driving skills on an estate with no parking and a host vendors unloading, gratitude - oh and a dis-taste for Nag Champa...yeah - I am over the incense for a while...)

Here are some photos of my journey:
(sometimes when I got to do what I want to do – it’s the same damn thing.)

My Transparency.

Tag Prototype.

In Studio Set-Up.

Display :)

Screen printing.

Yes - our neighbors were selling MJ T-shirts.

Event Display.

power. ambition. creativity. (Tote bags)

power. ambition. creativity (T-Shirts)

Inspired by the Soup Factory.

A few last words...

Sheila - I didn't see a goat. (& Thanks for the chicken.)

Josh - We should have just left. (& Thanks for throwing me in the fire with those bags.)

Jordyn - Your nails were beautiful.

Deme - Thanks for your perseverance.

Natural Doctor Dude that told me my colon has emotional issues - Um, yeah - t h a n k s..

My Hair Story....

2010-07-17T10:58:00.000-07:00

So.

I was one of those people that were born with a FULL head of hair… It seems like from the very beginning that I was destined to have a life full of hair stories…I am finally beginning to realize that my hair is actually a vehicle for my strength and wisdom today.

My journey begins with the legendary straighten comb and tiny braids and cornrows with beads on the ends… These were my mother’s saving graces…
They seemed to be the only thing to make my hair manageable – or maintained and presentable for a period of time…

BUT… not only did I have a full head of hair – I was tender headed…

Sadness.
Pain.
Tears.

I am sure that this was not a place that any mother would want to see their daughter. It was horrible.
No matter what she did – I was either:
-   Crying from her futile attempts at combing through my hair.
-   Crying from even the thought of the hot comb anywhere near my scalp…
-   Crying from the tightness of the braids – I mean, they needed to last as long as possible, right?
-   Crying.
-   Crying.
-   Crying.

She couldn’t take it anymore and eventually I got a Perm.

Needless to say, this brought great friction to the family – especially since I was forever reminded that I should have had hair down my back “by now” (Just like my cousins) – had my mother not given me a perm at such a young age.

-   Is her hair falling out?
-   Is it breaking off?

At that point those talking points were almost irrelevant because:
-   There was no more crying.

During my Elementary school days, I would rock (4) ponytail braids, (1) ponytail in the back – or if my mother was adventurous – I would even have curls from the curling iron.

- Hum… is my hair getting shorter?

Every time I went to the salon to get a “trim” I would go home crying because I felt like what little length of hair I had was just chopped off… I just saw my hair getting shorter and shorter.
In my head… the pretty girls had the long hair…

- AND My hair was no where near being long.

I just felt this in my heart – despite how talented or smart I was… it didn’t matter. I was inferior because of my mane.
But just think about it – how many products are out there promising to be the “miracle” product that will guarantee your hair to grow? And you go out there and buy every single one of them – with the hopes that “This will be the one!”
Hilarious – Clearly all of that faith and energy should have been directed somewhere else.

Now what happened to me in Middle School…..is something that I wouldn’t even wish on my worst enemy.
((kids can be so cruel))

My mother and my hairdresser came up with this “solution” to my hair breakage problems…
Basically, THEY decided to cut damn near all of my hair off – not to go natural, but to prepare my hair for an alternative chemical process… “The Wave”.

Now – I wasn’t stupid…I used that “term” to make myself feel better about my situation.. I mean – that’s kind of what it said on the bottle – BUT Lord knows that it was just a glorified Jheri Curl.

((I think I cried damn near every day after school – just trying to wrap my brain around the ridicule, jokes, and cerebral torture))

It was horrible on so many levels.

-   Boys put spitballs in my hair.
-   They started to call me “Hairy” – Because NOW I had “Too Much” hair… (wth?)
-   It was greasy – and always moist…. That did not help in gym class on the mats.
-   I didn’t look like the other girls with straight hair…And at this point it wasn’t even about the length of hair – just was long as it wasn’t the “soul glow”…. So great – now even the girls with no hair whatsoever were able to pick on me.

I was just an easy target.

So I spent years trying to hide my hair (not really possible since it was BIG and growing like crazy – go figure….)… I used all kinds of headbands, ponytails, hats (not in school) – whatever I could find to hide behind.
One day my hairdresser told me that I could actually have that “straight & dry look” if we blow dried it – every once in a while.

Ok – yeah…every once in a while… (I can do that!)

UNTIL – I went to school that first day with my long straight hair - blowing in the wind…
I got so many compliments on my hair it was ridiculous. WTF – go back to “The Wave??!?
Please….

And I didn’t. BUT all good things must come to an end – and apparently she was serious about “every once in a while” thing and before I knew it…..

My hair was breaking off and falling out again.

By the time I reached Senior Year in High School I had a perm again – and we were BEST FRIENDS…

-   Even though “she” always kept me from running around in gym – or working too hard during cheer leading – since I might “sweat it out”
-   Even though “she” always kept me from taking a leisurely stroll in the rain.
-   Even though “she” kept me out of pools in the summer.
-   Even though “she” kept me out of the ocean down the shore.
-   Even though she turned me against the humidity, wind and snow…

WE were BEST FRIENDS… A dysfunctional relationship – but a relationship that every single one of my friends could relate to – so that alone made it OK.

I went to college in a new city.
A new state.
This was my new beginning… None of these people knew me from a can of paint – or have EVER said mean things to me… This was MY time.
I didn’t even know where to start looking for a hair salon… From my first impressions it seemed that everyone either had a weave or wore a wig…Was I really going to be able to find a salon that was dedicated to hair health, growth and maintenance? I didn’t even try – so I ended up just going back to my salon at home for my (5) years in college.

Doing my hair became an everyday challenge. I didn’t have a clue what to do with it.
Side Note: My college experience may have been a little different than most… I majored in Architecture so our studio classes became more of a way of life – rather than just a class…
We spent the nights there – and only really went back home or to the dorm to take a shower. We cooked there. We bonded there. We LIVED there.
Basically, all I could do to “keep it moving” was to wrap it up in a piece of fabric, try to negotiate a ponytail or two, get flat twists – or hide it under a baseball cap.
The flat twists were cool – until they started to itch like a mo-fo.

My first experience with braids was traumatic.
I was headed off to Rome to spend a semester abroad…Exciting – Yes.
But what the Hell was I going to do with my hair??

I knew that I needed something easy…something that I could be in harmony with nature…Something that I could live stress-free.

I searched the directories, and finally found a local salon – that I felt comfortable with. Well, not only was my butt hurting from sitting all day – my FACE hurt. I swear that she braided my hair so tight that they gave me an instant face lift.

Unbelievable.

I think that I kept them in for only about a month and a half before I took them out - in Italy… OMG - they were so tight that they were literally pulling my hair out of my scalp. It was horrible.
So now I am left in Italy with just me and my crappy perm (the last place I wanted to be…) AND…
…no comb. (yeah, I had to go and buy one of those)
…no products (didn’t think I would need them - and they damn sure didn’t sell the pink lotion over there)
…no blow dryer - NOTHING.

I started to experiment with twisting it into Bantu Knots and taking it out…. Then I found a fabric store and I bought some fabric to twist on my head into hair wraps… I mean if it wasn’t going to “behave” I might as well cover it up, right??

Soooooooooooooooooooo….

It wasn’t until 4 years later (after I met my husband) that I knew it was time to set myself free… He wears his hair a little longer than most men - but does NOT have dreads. He wears it out and it looks awesome…. So of course I was jealous of his easy maintenance “do”… (haha)
PLUS he loves to drive down the highway with ALL of the windows down - and unless I had braids, twists, or a head scarf on - usually I wanted no parts of it…
I was tired of arguing so it was obviously time for a change.

The transitioning stage was quite interesting…

- Braids: Yes - I explored the braided option again - but this time I had them done by my friend back home and I knew she cared enough about me not to rip my scalp out.

- Two Strand Kinky Twists: Looked awesome and were great - if and when I actually found someone to do them at an affordable price… I still don’t understand that. Is it the hair maybe?? In my opinion they seem to start out the same way - and it looks EASIER to twist rather than to braid…

- I started to twist my hair myself with various products - even though I was about half perm and half virgin hair…Anything just so that the two textures would look uniform… typically I just put a head band on it and called it a day.

- After about a year or so, I finally cut all of the perm off….soo… that was it, right??? I was officially FREE!!!!!!!

Or was I?

I used to depend on those awful head scarves to deem myself “acceptable” in society… If it was going to be a bad hair day - which was everyday - I just covered it up and hid it. I had one to match every outfit - so why not?
They were always too tight…
And started to pull my hair out around the edges…
They also gave me headaches…
Which altered my mood…
AND not to mention they were hot as all hell.

BUT NOW………AFTER I SO-CALLED SET MYSELF FREE…….
I found myself hiding behind these stupid (tight) headbands - over my new little natural do. For some reason - I felt like this little piece of whatever was making me “acceptable” in society…It got so bad that one day I couldn’t find my bra strap headband and I even humored using a shoe string… WTH?
Ugh… all for the sake of making MYSELF feel better about my new appearance - that I just worked so hard to attain.

It has gotten a lot easier since I have finally found a line of products that agree with my lifestyle, texture of hair - and my wallet.
I have been wearing it out naturally kinky for few years now. I get it straightened every now and then when I go to a salon and get trim.
Ironically it seems to rain each and every time I get it done!!
So what does that last?? Like 2 hours at the MOST?!
- Which in retrospect is totally fine because when it gets straightened, I NEVER seem to feel like myself and I am always subconsciously praying that it goes back to its natural kinky state.

Interestingly enough - after a lot of kicking and screaming from me, I actually agreed to have my hair straightened for my wedding.
In my head one of two things were going to happen:

1. It would be a false representation of who I am - at my wedding.
2. It would be a complete disaster if it rained.

But.

My grandmother wanted it straight.
My mother wanted it straight.
My husband wanted it straight.

- For some reason “in their head” it would look ELEGANT. Ok - so what? Natural hair isn’t elegant??
Ugh - I was tired of arguing…

Needless to say it came out beautiful!! My hair stylist “put her foot in it” and it was bullet & water proof!
Seriously - I was going for the outdoor wedding and it ended up being 40 degrees and rainy for the entire day.

The next day after our wedding - I knew that I had to do “something” with it… There was no way in hell that I was going to go to Jamaica with my “straightened” hair. I washed it over and over again until I felt like myself again…
Then I just spent some time 2-strand twisting it - with the hopes that it would last for 2 weeks without locking up on me.

The last couple of days in Jamaica I just HAD to take them out and roam freely with my afro. EXTREMELY liberating I assure you!
(So what?! My straw hat didn’t fit on my head anymore (haha))

So here I am today - LOVING my Kinnks…
A lot of people stare…just trying to figure out if it’s a wig or not… Pure flattery.
I am an architect and always within professional and corporate environments - with my hair. (And and eyebrow ring for that matter..)

If I can offer up any piece of wisdom throughout my journey, it is to be true to yourself and listen within.
You are the only person that is going to know what is best fro you - not others. It’s such a shame that perceptions and opinions, have always been able to keep people from being their true selves - just for the sake of sticking with the “in-crowd” or “staying true” to the mold. There are no rules and if there were - they were meant to be broken.
Going natural was the first step to freeing myself from the mainstream mold and all of the associated stress that plagued me.
Sometimes when I walk down the street in the rain - I don’t even use an umbrella. What for? It’s probably shriveled up from the humidity anyway.

(Oh - and that’s usually when I need to give my co-workers a lesson in African American hair and explain to them - no…. I did no get a haircut.)

I must say - I am enjoying this journey of hair and self discovery and I wouldn’t take any of it back…Every step I took, every joke ,ridicule, missed opportunity or tear I shed only made me a stronger person…

Now I just need to work on having more hair styles that do not require a headband.

T.Stro.Mill.

Tiff & Deme are...

2010-06-30T14:53:00.000-07:00

http://www.theindiebride.com/real-weddings/real-couple-tiffany-and-demetrius-at-riverview-country-club/

A Lesson Spiritual Gardening...

2010-06-26T09:00:00.000-07:00

Well, the Ramapos are really taking off! I had to go and buy a 9'-0" stake to support them... (Last year they were starting to grown on top of the garage roof)

Anywho :)

This past week I have been doing a lot of soul searching and re-reading one of my favorite books:
"All the Joy You Can Stand" by Debrena Jackson Gandy...

Now inspirational and self motivating literature may not be your "thing" but I really felt like I needed to share this one section because it is something that I am forcing myself to live everyday - and I have come to lean on this philosophy in everything I do...
This past week was rough for me and I even found myself breaking down a couple of times... But I know that everyone has a set of cycles and seasons in their lives and everyday (no matter how rough) is just part of this journey and ultimate adventure :)

Becoming a Spiritual Gardener...

1. If you are not reaping the size, quantity or quality of the "fruit" in the form of results, outcomes, or goals you'd like, you must better prepare, cultivate, and fertilize your soil. Remember, manure is "waste", but it makes for great fertilizer. A masterful "gardener" can take waste and transform it into something that supports growth. You recognize that the quality of your soil determines the quality of the 'fruit" you bear.

2. Faith and patience are necessary in spiritual gardening because all growth is not above ground. God works in visible and non-visible ways.

3. You have to understand that God has placed the "blueprint" for success within the seed. It is up to you to activate it.

4. You understand that you will always be given other opportunities to plant. There are no mistakes, only "learnings" with spiritual gardening.

5. Death is a part of the spiritual gardening process. When something comes to an end, it is transformed and the process continues. In the mind of the spiritual gardener, death is not inherently bad or negative. it is a part of the process. It can signify a rebirth or set the stage for a powerful new beginning.

6. When the seed, season, soil, timing, and conditions are "right", the seed takes root, pushes up through the ground and bears "fruit".

7. The spiritual gardener is able to take manure and transform it into fertilizer. You know that all that smells and looks bad can be used for good if you know how to transform it.

8. The spiritual gardener knows that even if all of the conditions are right, the unexpected can still occur and wipe out what you've grown. You are not in control ultimately. You also know that you can begin again. This, too, is part of the process.

done!

2010-06-12T13:25:00.000-07:00

After much inner turmoil...the photos were FINALLY selected and the album is finished!!...(at least we got it done before the one year mark :)

(Photography by Joshua Black Weddings - www.joshuablackweddings.com)

www.joshuablackweddings.com

Mosquito Plant

2010-06-06T15:51:00.000-07:00

The Mosquito Plant is a genetically engineered geranium hybrid with a unique characteristic: it repels mosquitoes! It is easily grown as a potted patio plant, and easily enjoyed for its attractive foliage and sweet lemony scent, as well as for its mosquito repelling powers. It produces a leafy, attractive, foot-tall plant during its first season.

The Mosquito Plant was created by a Dutch botanist, who genetically incorporated traits of the Chinese citronella grass into a scented African geranium. The resulting cultivar still had the growth and habit of the geranium, and its sweet lemony citronella scent. Citronella is the substance in citronella candles, which have long been used to deter mosquitoes. It doesn't harm them, but they don't like citronella and avoid it. It is most effective as a repellent if you crush a few leaves and rub them on your skin. This releases the citronella and a sweet perfume.

Like most geraniums, the Mosquito Plant is normally potted and grown outdoors during the warm season (after last and before first frosts). During the colder seasons the plants can be wintered-over indoors. In the warmer southern zones Mosquito Plants can be grown outdoors year-round where the plants can reach a mature size of 3 to 4 feet high and wide.

http://www.allwoodwork.com/tips/mosquitoplant.htm

Garden Update #1

2010-06-06T15:41:00.000-07:00

(1)feeling.

(1)thought.

(1)seed.

(1)root.

(1)sun.

(1)water.

(1)love.

(1)spirit.

(1)life.

(everything's growing great! here are a few pictures from the garden today :)

For more Photos go here:

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=58988&id=1137436723&l=278fb5a858

Facade.

2010-06-02T14:40:00.000-07:00

Every once in a while a little project comes along that you can call you own...AND be proud of...
The client wanted a new identity for their "dated" office facade. The challenge was that the budget was very tight and the existing storefront facade could not be removed or altered in anyway. I decided that the best option was to split the facade up into planes and give hierarchy to the entrance. The main material used was EIFS (Exterior Insulation Finishing System) due to the fact that its relatively inexpensive, flexible in terms of design, and it would be able to add insulation to their ridiculously frigid office space. (They sometimes call it out-silation...) We also used zinc at the main entrance...(That was the money piece :)

WELL - The construction of this office facade was just completed and the owners could not be happier!
(Don't you love it when a good plan comes together?)

Here is a little photographic time-line of the project...

Original Rendering.

Existing Conditions.

Ohio.

2010-05-27T19:20:00.000-07:00

After much kicking and screaming...

(Ok so - I usually don't like going on vacation because I can never justify the money or the time spent away from tending to the house)

...we were on our way to Ohio to ride the biggest and fastest roller coasters in the world (i think...).

www.cedarpoint.com

It was great.. we rented a Volvo (we would have driven my car - but it's still a little damaged from my accident...) It was awesome. It took us about 8.5 hours - no traffic... we just encountered some rain on the way up. Slightly stressful - but not terrible.
First of all - I must say that I think Ohio must be the friendliest place i have been to so far... hands down.. Everyone was just so nice, pleasant and welcoming.... Such a comfortable energy :)

We stayed in a hotel in Port Clinton... Very nice, and conveniently located by a few state parks and an African Safari.... (yeah, I said it... a damn African Safari in Ohio, USA).

Ok - a few words about the African Safari.

1. The hotel manager told us to go there. She said it was great - we can drive through the "safari" and feed the animals.. We should just go to the grocery store and buy about 6 bags of carrots and hide them under out seat when we get there... Apparently, they make you buy the food at the gate at a whopping $6.00 a damn bag of carrots juxtaposed to about $1.00 or so at the grocery store.

2. We start to drive through the "Safari" and are bombarded by about 2 alpacas..3 llamas...a host of deer and a partridge in a pear tree.... EVERYTHING and ANYTHING besides an animal that should be on an African Safari. (Okay okay... so there were also a zebra or two...) BUT It was hilarious...gross...frightening and sad all at the same time.

So we head over to Cedar Point on Monday...

The weather was perfect.

The healing ankle was behaving...

(Side note: Deme is a good guy and all - but after i got hurt, he had this brainchild idea that i could ride in a wheelchair while we were in the park so that we could get to the front of the lines... stupid.)
Oh - and we couldn't have picked a better week to go... on a Monday - before the holiday.. the longest wait we had was about 30 minutes for the Maverick. AND well worth it.

Sooo.....
Lesson Learned: Every now and then you really need to step away and take a break.

This past weekend I think fed a moose with a carrot on an African Safari & I rode something called a "Strata Coaster" for it's unprecedented height... It was the first coaster to top 400 feet... it was the tallest and fastest coaster when it opened & launches riders from 0-120 mph in less than four seconds.

What are YOU going to do when you take your break?

more photos here :)

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=58057&id=1137436723&l=fda8a95801

I can see!!

2010-05-26T14:34:00.000-07:00

I picked up my new set of glasses this weekend (right before we hit the road to Ohio....)

LOVE THEM.

Okay okay... so it took me about a whole hour to pick them out - not just because I am a girl... but because I was told that I actually need to wear these....like all of the time.So I didn't want to pick something out and then feel like crap about them a week from now....
Basically - I stayed away from the pretentious architect-y glasses and stayed true to Tiff. Deme liked the red on my face and the inside just happens to be blue.... (he LOVES anything superman related - i swear..)

So.... here i am!
(I am looking at the color as a good thing... now i can still wear all black and kinda get away with it :)

Thanks Dr. Major!!
http://www.eyeinnovations.net/

Tiff.

A Love Letter to Ms. Cacao...

2010-05-19T10:53:00.000-07:00

As some of you may know, my cat Cacao travels back and fourth to my parents house every couple of weeks - and has done so for her 10 years of life...We drove her up there this weekend when we went to the plant festival - since we are planning to take a little trip this weekend.
I had a couple of things on my mind - and since she isn't here for me to tell her - I decided to write her a letter.

Dear Cacao,

I called you last night and my parents put you on the phone - but you did not have much to say. It's cool... I know that you are on vacation this week. I really hope that you are having fun frolicking with all of the suburban woodland creatures in the backyard - since you are not allowed to play with the skeevy & mangy squirrels, pigeons, stray cats and raccoons that love to congregate in your backyard down here in Philly.
But you know what? I would really like to know why (after 10 years) you still think its a game when I try to put you in your travel case when you KNOW that you are going up to see grama and grandpa... Was it really necessary to have me run through 2 floors of my house - TWICE - and when I caught you you rolled your big green eyes at me? Did you think it was funny when I put the cage down in front of you - and you just sashayed your little butt into the cage - as if you were done with your little "game" and decided to play nice and cooperate?
Since you have been away the mornings have been quiet... No one walking on my head with these bony feet - yelling at me to feed them - before it's my time to wake up. No one throwing up on the carpet and leaving it for me to discover.. I still don't understand that... There is only (1) room in the entire house with carpet and you choose to get sick in there - rather than on the hard wood floors... (It would just be so much easier to clean up). OH - and I am sure that the plants are happy... as they have a week or so to try and rejuvenate themselves and try to grow back since you eat them when I am not home.

Well, I just wanted to let you know that I love and miss you... See you soon!!

Love Tiff.
(And Deme - Even though he is still pissed off that you hissed at him when he was just trying to get you from underneath the bed......I guess he will get over it)

Be Yourself

2010-05-19T10:12:00.000-07:00

Sooo... I am always telling people that I know happiness will come if you just - be yourself & stop trying to conform to a mold that you are not.
I met Deme by simply surrendering to the fact that I am a headbanger and love to see live rock music AND I freed myself when I decided to grow my hair out natural...

Well - The Daily OM hit it on the head & I had to share... (Thanks Jeanne!)
http://www.dailyom.com/

There is a difference between shifting our energy to accommodate people we are around and dumbing ourselves down.

The ability to go into any social situation and sense the level of consciousness in that situation is a gift. It enables us to move considerately in a world that holds people of all levels of awareness. However, there is a difference between shifting our energy to accommodate people and dumbing ourselves down to a regrettable degree. Sometimes, when we get into a particular social situation, we may feel pressure to play it small in order to fit in. Perhaps everyone is drinking or smoking excessively, engaging in gossipy small talk, or complaining bitterly about politics. It is one thing to notice this and modify our expectations and another thing entirely to join in.

When we notice where people are coming from and acknowledge to ourselves that their energy is not in alignment with ours, we have several choices as to how to proceed. One viable option is to quietly endure the situation, keeping to ourselves until it is time to leave. In this way, we take care of our own consciousness and protect our growth process. Another option is to interact in a way that honors and pays respect to the people in the group, while gently attempting to shift the level of consciousness with our input. In order to do this, we must maintain our own vibration, which means that joining in by dumbing down is not an option.

When we choose to dumb ourselves down to fit in, we not only sell ourselves short but we also lose a possible opportunity to influence the situation for the good of all concerned. Our desire to join in may come from our natural yearning to feel connected to the people around us. There is no shame in this, but being able to stand on our own, separate from the crowd, is a powerful milestone on any spiritual path. It can be difficult in the moment, but when we arrive on the other side, our integrity intact, we may find ourselves feeling positively smart.

Mission: Garden 2010

2010-05-17T17:01:00.000-07:00

Sunday I went home to Jersey to get my Ramapos!!!!!!
http://www.njfarmfresh.rutgers.edu/JerseyTomato.html

So - we went up to the Watchung Reservation for the annual plant festival... I couldn't have asked for a more beautiful day!!
This year I have:
(2) Ramapos
(2) Rutgers Tomatoes
(3) Eggplant Plants
(3) Green Peppers
& A LOT of Basil that I started from seeds....

- By the time we got to the festival (oh wait.... that's right we were second in line to wait to get in - my father insisted that we get there at 11:00 - even though they opened at 12.) So yeah, by the time we ENTERED the festival it was a mad rush to the tomato plants!!! I have never seen anything like it in my life.Oh - and they sold out of cucumber plants... ugh - I guess I have to get those from home depot :)

So now - It's time to plant!
((Wish me Luck))

May 15, 2010

2010-05-17T16:46:00.000-07:00

Weddings...

- Make me put on a dress.
- Make me cry.
- Make me think about Love. Faith. New Beginnings.
- Make me think about how special my day was.
- Make me dance my ASS off - even on a healing ankle.
- Make me do the electric slide.
- Make me drink more than I should.
- Make me wish Danny & Melissa the best of luck!

(I love you guys... Always Remember the Moments)

WTF is for Dinner?

2010-05-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

I think I ask my husband this question..

Every.

Day.

But - in my defense I told him that i was not a domesticated woman when he met me - and he STILL married me - so that's his fault.
The thing is - I can actually cook very well... I get it from my Mommy :)
I just don't CHOOSE to do it. Is that wrong??
Ugh - and to make matters worse - my mother has been cooking these outrageously tasty things lately and I am being TOLD that i MUST learn these new meals..
For example - My mother was determined to make a batch of ox-tails - just like Grama used to make...AND well (I love you G-Money..) THEY WERE BETTER!!!!!!!!!
We ate that shit so fast that I damn near bit my tongue off. (Just another thing to add to my list of "good luck" these days)
Ugh.
So now I need to start cooking - like REAL meals...
Who the hell has time for that?? i can see if i was working from home or something - then ok.... I would have a pot of ham hocks simmering with some collard greens - or even go all out and put a roast in the oven.. (maybe)

But after working all damn day - and then finally get the chance to sit on the sofa..
..in the house that i pay for by going to work all damn day..
..and then start working on the stuff that i REALLY want to work on..

- who feels like slaving in the kitchen???

Now - don't get me wrong.. I will toss it up here and there - and I KNOW that no one has ANYTHING on my cornbread - but apparently I should be "tossing it up" more often...

What the hell am i going to do when we have kids?

things can only get better - pt.2

2010-05-12T09:45:00.000-07:00

So - remember how i was talking about losing my SEPTA Trail pass - yeah well... Clearly I am NOT getting it back.
This morning i went to purchase a couple of tickets to end out the week - and a weekly pass for NEXT week - and come to find out that $90.00 that i THOUGHT that i had in my pocket - in the form of transit checks were actually..
..

Expired... (That's about right)

Ok - so i just get some tickets for the end of the week - 5 more trips into the city and it set me back about $25.00..

Awesome.

Kinnks

2010-05-11T19:33:00.000-07:00

"Don't remove the Kinnks from your hair,

Remove them from your brain."
- Marcus Garvey

things can only get better...

2010-05-11T19:00:00.000-07:00

I am one of those people with a lot of faith.. A LOT of faith. I know that in my heart things will always turn out for the best - even when i just want to ball up and rock somewhere in a dark corner.
This past couple of weeks proved to me that I am much stronger than i had ever thought i was.

Last Monday - I am running out of my car - into the house because it was raining and i didn't have an umbrella...
I don't know who the hell told me that i should have put those skimpy ass Puma's on...
with no traction.....
in the grass...

but....

SLIP - BAM....

my ass was on the ground.

Crying the rain with an ankle twisted - the OTHER way.
Ugh... thank God Deme was there to witness the entire thing and (laugh) and pick me up and drag me into the house...

UGH - I was a mess.
Needless to say - I actually sprain my ankle - tore a few ligaments - and my pride.

AND THAT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING....

((On Friday))

I am driving into work - because i can't really walk... i refuse to use the crutches....and i felt like that was the BEST option....
WELL.... I got into a car accident. A fender bender....
Bending my soul.
My heart.
My spirit - (wait... no that's actually broken right about now...)

Ugh - Deme JUST bought me that $700.00 sexy ass car.....

It's still drivable - just NOT as sexy.

yes - it gets better :)

The following Thursday - I actually end up taking the train into the city after a site visit with my structural engineer...

I am sitting on the bench...waiting for the train.
The train comes and I get on the train.
I start walking to my sea.t

AND THEN THE TRAIN DOORS SHUT.

I forgot my damn purse on the bench.

w.t.f.

Ok - so of course i panic (internally - because i couldn't even stop shaking enough to dial the number to the train station...)

- I finally get them and someone had already brought my bag into the office....

((God, you must really love me))

NOW TODAY IS TUESDAY.

Just got in from a GREAT ACE mentoring presentation!! The students were fantastic and their hard work and dedication to the program really showed... :)

I got on the train to come home.
I am playing jewels on my stupid smart phone.
We get to my stop (a little quicker than i anticipated).
I go to put my trailpass into my purse - BUT

WHAT?

IT FELL WHERE?

I CAN'T FIT MY HANDS DOWN THERE?!

Game time decision... do I stay on this train til the next stop and try to get my pass out of this nasty crevice between the seat and the wall? OR do i sacrifice it and go on...without my 145.00 pass - for - the - month?

I went on without my pass...
I hope that i can find some old tickets laying around here...

__________________

Ok - so the moral of the story is that whenever things seem like they just won't get better - they probably won't. (haha)
BUT I know that there is a lesson learned in each and every one of those situation - and I am THANKFUL that they were not worse.

1. My ankle could have been broken.
2. My $700.00 car could have been totaled.
3. My purse could have been stolen - I mean, there wasn't any money in there anyway - but you know. :)
4. Even though i lost my pass... Um, yeah - i still need to figure out the bright side to this one....
(haha)

- wait... i thought that things happen in threes?