Faith + Freedom

Humm... I think I may have "burned" myself again...

For the past month and a half, I have been working on a little something that I called "Faith + Freedom". I knew that the annual PhilaNOMA Art show was coming up and that was enough to put the fire under my butt to build something - and get my head away from thinking and stressing about thing I can not control. 

Everything seemed to fall into place... I received power tools for my birthday. I carved out a little corner in the basement to become my "wood shop", I had full access to the Soup Factory AND Cacao was on vacation in New Jersey.

I found some wood slats in the garage from an old IKEA bed in my garage - and I already had the vision. So I was ready to go....

The idea was to make a "picture frame" for flowers to be mounted on a wall - but like everything else, It became much more. It became my creative outlet... (Hey - what better way to relive the stress from work - than to go home and use some power tools??)

 It was awesome... and then this popped into my head as I was building it... So I had to incorporate it:

 

i wanted to let go, 

but it wouldn't let me go.

i tried to break free, 

but i was always...

...am always +

always will be free.

ENJOY!!

Faith + Freedom is an exercise in re-discovering the creative side within me. As working professionals we sometimes lose sight of the simple things that bring us enjoyment and in turn serve as natural stress relievers.

Over the years, I found myself running from the things that would set me free. The lack of time committed to creativity wold be the very thing that would save me from the mundane day to day - also known as life.

Bending those wooden dowels was a stupid idea manifested. It was tedious and i broke a lot of them - even though I had them soaking in a tub of water in my basement. BUT I assure you that during that entire process I was NOT thinking about getting shop drawings back in time, dis-respectful clients that have no idea what i do for a living, construction time schedules that were shot and people blame you because you are the architect, stressing about toilet room clearances and that extra grab bar, and my favorite - the pissing contests that develop at the end of a job when all of the change orders get tallied up and the boxing gloves go on...

AND - it's new home in my dining room...

My Sunflower.

Faith is interesting.
Faith is mysterious.
Faith is unknown - doubtful - and just when you are at the cusp of giving up on it - it comes through and shows you why you MUST always keep it with you...

For the past five years I have been growing sunflowers somewhere in my yard. I LOVE them. They are these huge gentle giants that need nothing more than some sun, soil and a little love.

I started them as seeds this year...

Planted them...
And one by one they got blown over by wind, taken over by weeds, eaten - or just for some reason didn't make it.

UNTIL.

I cleared these ridiculously large weeds in front of my yard and found this - My one and only sunflower for the season.... humm - remember that little post about spiritual gardening?

"He who plants a seed beneath the sod - and waits to see believes in God."

things can only get better...

I am one of those people with a lot of faith.. A LOT of faith. I know that in my heart things will always turn out for the best - even when i just want to ball up and rock somewhere in a dark corner.
This past couple of weeks proved to me that I am much stronger than i had ever thought i was.


Last Monday - I am running out of my car - into the house because it was raining and i didn't have an umbrella...
I don't know who the hell told me that i should have put those skimpy ass Puma's on...
with no traction.....
in the grass...

but....

SLIP - BAM....

my ass was on the ground.

Crying the rain with an ankle twisted - the OTHER way.
Ugh... thank God Deme was there to witness the entire thing and (laugh) and pick me up and drag me into the house...

UGH - I was a mess.
Needless to say - I actually sprain my ankle - tore a few ligaments - and my pride.

AND THAT WAS JUST THE BEGINNING....

((On Friday))

I am driving into work - because i can't really walk... i refuse to use the crutches....and i felt like that was the BEST option....
WELL.... I got into a car accident. A fender bender....
Bending my soul.
My heart.
My spirit - (wait... no that's actually broken right about now...)

Ugh - Deme JUST bought me that $700.00 sexy ass car.....

It's still drivable - just NOT as sexy.

yes - it gets better :)

The following Thursday - I actually end up taking the train into the city after a site visit with my structural engineer...

I am sitting on the bench...waiting for the train.
The train comes and I get on the train.
I start walking to my sea.t

AND THEN THE TRAIN DOORS SHUT.

I forgot my damn purse on the bench.

w.t.f.

Ok - so of course i panic (internally - because i couldn't even stop shaking enough to dial the number to the train station...)

- I finally get them and someone had already brought my bag into the office....

((God, you must really love me))


NOW TODAY IS TUESDAY.

Just got in from a GREAT ACE mentoring presentation!! The students were fantastic and their hard work and dedication to the program really showed... :)

I got on the train to come home.
I am playing jewels on my stupid smart phone.
We get to my stop (a little quicker than i anticipated).
I go to put my trailpass into my purse - BUT

WHAT?

IT FELL WHERE?

I CAN'T FIT MY HANDS DOWN THERE?!

Game time decision... do I stay on this train til the next stop and try to get my pass out of this nasty crevice between the seat and the wall? OR do i sacrifice it and go on...without my 145.00 pass - for - the - month?

I went on without my pass...
I hope that i can find some old tickets laying around here...

__________________

Ok - so the moral of the story is that whenever things seem like they just won't get better - they probably won't. (haha)
BUT I know that there is a lesson learned in each and every one of those situation - and I am THANKFUL that they were not worse.

1. My ankle could have been broken.
2. My $700.00 car could have been totaled.
3. My purse could have been stolen - I mean, there wasn't any money in there anyway - but you know. :)
4. Even though i lost my pass... Um, yeah - i still need to figure out the bright side to this one....
(haha)

- wait... i thought that things happen in threes?